every time I have talked to my mom over the past month, she has asked if I have received a package yet....and when I would say no, she would almost be in tears over it
I now know why :)
mom always writes little notes like this that I love....
she also always sends little goodies like these including candy, emergen-c (suze would be proud!), and other things I like....
and she also always sends a bag of homemade cookies that inevitably arrive in pieces but every time I eat them until there are no crumbs left (mom's cookies are a precious thing!)
[and yes, that is a piece of bread in the bag....did you know that if you put a piece of bread in with the cookies the moisture from the bread will help keep the cookies fresher for a longer time?...its true - random fact of the day for you]
but after I pulled all the other stuff out, underneath was something entirely unexpected.....
these are stacks and stacks of cards, right about 150 of them, filled with happy birthday wishes, encouragement, drawings, reminders of friendship & commitment, prayers, support, and love.
I was mostly in shock for a few minutes but then as I started to pull piles and piles of cards of the box, I came to my senses and all hope for any kind of composure was lost.
I decided to not read them all at the same time but rather spread them out over many days. there were cards from kids' Sunday school classes at Central (college church) and from Lake Highlands (home church), drawings from my sister-in-law's third grade class, encouragement and support from people that have known me my whole life at my home church, long-time family friends, some of my dearest friends, and of course, my family (even our pets :) managed to send a card reminding me of their love)
most of us know that we are loved. even on the hard days of life, we can think of people that care about us. the hard part, though, is that we often....I often, struggle with really believing that. I trust that I'm remembered and thought of but I also sometimes think theres an 'out of sight, out of mind' mentality that affects us. all that to say, you know when an emotion just lingers right below the surface and you're not directly aware of it because a part of you wants to ignore how big of a deal it is to you?
such is what I was feeling and what I realized as I opened the box. I think it was mostly because so many big things have happened this past month or so with birthday, thanksgiving, and christmas and all of these events being away from my family and close friends.
but Father knew.
He knew I needed a reminder of love and friendship and commitment
He knew I felt heavy and weary and needed a breath of fresh air
He knew I needed the box to arrive a month late (even though it wigged my mom out) because it was right in the middle of this so special season
Praise You Father for knowing exactly what we need and being our great and gracious Provider. Thank you for the glorious and undeserved gift of community and for giving people who are willing to walk this journey with me. And thank you for a mom who supports, defends, cheers, dotes, blesses, and loves her children more than any I know of.
blessed. and grateful
